I'm a 30 year old born and
raised in Los Angeles

Now a Designer
turned Information Architect
turned Design Director
at a .com in London
with my new wife Leyhsa

Archive:
Apr - Jun 01 | Jul - Aug 01 | Sep - Dec 01 | Jan - Apr 02 | May - Jul 02
Aug - Sep 02 | Oct- Dec 02 | Jan - Feb 03 | March 03

We had a great time at the New Years party we had at my friend Tom's place. It was an unbelievable duck feast - dinner party with about 10 of his friends whom all contributed. Everyone got exceedingly smashed and watched Big Ben bong twelve at midnight (which makes sense considering they would have to wait until 5 in the morning before seeing the apple drop in NYC). See more pics

On to the news of the week - my job in jeopardy. I was told by my very evil boss (I call him The Soulless One) that I was to be made redundant (what they call it here) and I insisted on meeting with the folks at the new company. The Soulless One is forced to observe this negotiation period due to the way layoffs work in the UK where you have 30 days to prove your skills are unique and are cost effective before they are allowed to can you. Its just a formality, because they will can you anyway, but I guess it looks better on paper to provide you with an additional opportunity at humiliation.

So the meeting was with myself, Tom, and another friend of mine that make up product development at flutter and several folks from Betfair including one of the founders and the COO. It was absolutely empowering to hear from them that the work we did with the interface we launched in September literally scared them as we took away market share and proved to have a superior product; which directly led them into talks for a merger. To summarize: If I did a half-assed job, I would still have a job. Talk about irony, huh? The meeting went five hours and they seemed very nice and they definitely liked us so there will probably be a short-term contract in it which will at least give me something to fall back on as I job search. So if any of you are interested in snapping up my skills in getting everyone laid off at a company, check out my portfolio and CV (US stylie aka: resume).

Job searching is going well (though my absence from 'work' is annoying The Soulless One) I seem to be getting a decent response and have gone on a few interviews so far. They're just like the ones you get in the US so not much to report though I do sometimes need people to repeat themselves a few times if they have a thick accent from Scotland or something. Example: "are yawn yerin?" does not mean are "are you in urine?" as I had once thought but actually is, "Are you on your OWN?". Letter to self noted...

I have now had two detailed meetings with the new company since then (whom are very ethical as well as having strong leadership), to only find out that they were under a different impression before we had spoken, and are now interested in finding a way to keep all or part of the Product Team. But because of The Soulless One's discouraging support, I opened Pandora's Box, looking elsewhere and have been in talks with several interesting companies. So thanks to The Soulless One and his fabulous management skills and supportive manner, there's a good chance I won't stay even if they do offer me something. I'll keep you in the know for what happens next on my perilous journey skirting death and unemployment.

I apologize for all of my negativity in my journal lately. After all, being so near the forces of evil and their hellish powers can have a damper on ones positivity. I recommend a healthy dose of the Giant Bee Song to inoculate any festering in you.

The Score:
The Soulless One	1
Jason	1

Like every boring football match, the score was a draw. The Soulless One said there was no full-time position for me and then pulled a pretty nasty one and although it no longer was his decision, I have later come to find out, said there would only be a very small amount of freelance work for me (maybe once a week). So I got served my walking papers. I quickly rebounded four hours later when I received a call saying that I had been accepted at an agency to do a two month, well paying, contract roll in Brighton for a big media company. Yay! So I vollied a nice shot back.

Here's my question for you folks: I used to like my job. I liked it alot. I then started to report directly to one of the founders (whom are all American by the way) and have hated it ever since. I will never work for him or the other knobs he was with. So, do I burn a bridge by venting since they burned one with me? My question to you all is this: do I write a nasty note dissing the founders for their unethical, self-serving, unscrupulous, devil worshipped wrongfulness, or do I just ride off into the sunset? Let me know and I'll follow the public's decision. Vote Here

Now that I'm between paychecks, I have been especially penny-pinching and it has become even more obvious how good I had it in the states rather than here. This city is so freakin expensive. I was planning on making a section on the site for helping people in knowing what are good deals to get while here in the UK (like when in Mexico, you can get cheap Pharmacy drugs, furniture, lap dances and tequila, for example). But all I found was one thing. Cereal. Yes, that's it. Cereal is normally $4 to $5 in the states while here you can get a bargain deal for what converts into $3.00. So load up on the cereal! Everything else can be 2 to 3 times the cost. Gas (or as it's called here, Petrol), is as much as $8 to $9 a gallon while in the states we complain about the exhorbitant $1.49. Our flat is half the size of our old place in LA and the rent is over double. Clothes are the same amount where a $10 shirt will be £10, but when you factor in the exchange rate, it's actually $14.50. So load up on your Frosted Mini Wheats because they are a steal!

So here are the responses from the poll including some who proclaimed themselves as the owners:

I haven't talked about the weather in a while and the 3 weeks of rain reminded me to remind myself to tell you about it. There are five distinct varieties of weather in London. While Los Angeles is either hot, mild, or warm and that is the extent of it, London on the other hand has seasons and brings with it a colorful rainbow of weather. I will now begin to categorize London weather:

Crappy Grey: Your common species that exists as a default state here. It's cold, damp and makes everything look like you are looking at it through a dirty lense. Imagining Paris without the Eiffel Tower is like imagining London without our good friend, Crappy Grey.

Stealth Crappy Grey: A sub-breed cousin of Crappy Grey. The difference is you think it's Crappy Grey, but after 15 minutes outside, you realize you are soaking wet because its actually stealthily raining on you because you couldn't tell that it was actually raining, on you. It's a tricky sort.

Spit: Patchy clouds swoop in and make everything wet and then go away again. It's a devious and malicious animal that will strike at any time. My former collegue explained to me once, "You won't go outside because of THAT?? You really are from LA. That's not rain! That's spit!"

Hell Hath Cometh: A deluge of terrential downpour where the earth looks like it will soon end in a flash flood. Just when you've seen an ocean dump from the sky and you are certain that the Earth is about to open up and a demon (not mentioning names) comes out, Hell Hath Cometh goes back away again, just to remind you what happens if you don't say your prayers.

HA HA Just Kidding: The 1 to 2 hours of beautiful, sunny, pleasant and lovely to be alive weather appears. HA HA will trick you every time though, because you will run into the streets yelling of the miracle of life and how wonderful it is to be outside, when just as your guard is at its weakest, a flock of Spit arrives to mess with you.

After much time and work, Leyhsa and I are finally printing out our wedding invitations to send out next week. We designed and illustrated them ourselves and they look great. Check them out for yourself.

With the cash flow being so tight, we have spent much more time then usual at home watching the tellie. I can tell you with confidence that it is the truly most unique difference than its American counterpart. First of all, we get breasts. Lots of them- and no paying for it either. Once you hit 10 o'clock or so, it's boobie time. Which breaks a complete misnomer Americans have that the British are uptight. They are so much more accepting and open-minded of sexuality, inter-racial couples, and religion than American media is. I saw a poster on the tube portraying two gay men hugging for an ad selling life insurance. There are several shows and commercials depicting mixed-race couples. We even saw a documentary on BBC where they showed full-frontal male nudity. Nobody bats an eyelash over it either. None of which ofcourse, flies in the US. For all of our American freedoms, we haven't evolved much from our biases then those stuffy Brits have.

The shows for the most part are great. They have very wickedy funny and satirical comedies like The Estate Agents, Black's Books and Father Ted. All of which have a controversial angle to them poking fun at things that American TV wouldn't get near with a ten-foot pole. They also have entertaining and informative documentaries on interesting topics like 'How to Build a Human', which was a series on where genetics has taken us in the past five years and what potentials it creates for the future. Or 'Proving God', which was a series on astrophysicists and astronomers using scientific experiments to define whether there is a higher power. There news programs are way ahead of the US as well, with a world-view perspective and critical objectiveness towards politics. My favorite is to watch an anchor interview an American politician because they are so hard-hitting. American politicians and spokesman are used to being under-hand lobbed questions and just pushing their sound bytes. But here however, they get on with a Brit interviewer and they get all red in the face and flustered because they are being shot with challenging, informed and aggressive questions. Its better than Jerry Springer.

But then to every positive there is the downside. First off, the TV listing times shows start are wacky and random like at 11:20 or 5:40 so you are always coming into a show that is already mid-way through. Secondly, no show has a set day of week it will be on. Most shows only run for five weeks at a time before changing time slots or stop running until another five weeks go by so it is almost impossible to know when to catch a certain show. My guess is that they want only the most desperate and pathetic viewers who will put up with any hoops to watch their show.

The worst though is what I call the Shiney-Shit-Shows. Limeys absolutely love these God-awful glammed up shows to bandwagon boy bands and hair-sprayed tramps. To give you an idea, they have Big Brother over here and when somebody gets nocked off the show, its literally on the front page of every newspaper. They have these glitzy and expensive high profile 'Star Search' like shows called 'Pop Idol' and 'Pop Stars' where the winner from these shows will have an industry manufactured crap product selling a guaranteed number one single. They all sound exactly the same and the girls look like Britney Spears but with more makeup and the teenage boys all look like a pediphile's wet dream. They eat it up in giant mouthfuls like a bolemic at a buffet. I don't get it and I thank the lord that I don't. More next week on this same Bat Channel.

I have found the greatest site that ever existed last week that I must insist you try out for yourself. Its called Pornolize.com. This is what it does to my site. Oh! and speaking of which, I learned a new cuss word! TWAT! (pronounced like fat) It is such a great word because it can mean stupid, or as the Brits say, daft, or it means obnoxious and rude, or the literal meaning which is the female genetalia. They have another really funny and sissy word for that as well, FANNY. For you Brits, a fanny is a sissy way to say arse. It's so benign in fact, we even have a government home loan agency in the US called Fannie Mae. Please read more about sissy names in my previous entry. If you have any suggestions on other sissy terms, submit it to me!

Victoria, who I believe is actually an escaped emaciated monkey with breast implants was Posh Spice from the Spice Girls. She (if it could be possible) had among the Girls the least amount of skills, lacking dancing, singing, and song writing talents. After the Spice Girls ended, she has enjoyed a couple minor voice-doctored hits on the British top 40, anchoring her firmly as a pop star.

And then, there's David. A soccer player who I have a former employee friend of mine calling, 'only the most gorgeous man that has ever graced the earth'. He has about the personality of cardboard and the intelligence to match but damn, can he kick a ball. He is captain of the biggest and best team, Manchester United, won the big title thing three times AND he is also captain of the England World Cup team. To put this in perspective, the England World Cup team is like the NY Yankees, the entire US Olympic winter and summer teams, the LA Lakers, and Michael Jordan multiplied by 7. It's a big deal. When they beat Germany's team during the preliminaries last year, it was voted by callers nationwide as the greatest moment in British History of the past ten years- by a wide margin.

Plus, they are corn-fed English folk, which the British are vehemently proud of. So you put these two together with their new baby Brooklyn and you have Brit Star Power beyond anything comprehensible. I have a theory on why they are so much more avid then us Americans about their celebrities: the Monarchy is lame. See, here the monarchs had enjoyed supreme control and respect for hundreds of generations, reinforcing hero worship as a part of society. When the Monarchy lost its power and on top of that was replaced by dweebs like Prince Charles and Edward, the hero flock moved onto the next best thing; celebrities. So because of that, there are cover stories and magazine exclusives and television programs and radio special reports and on and on. David even has his own potato chips (er, crisps) named after his nickname by Victoria, 'Golden Balls'. All I know is that poor guy better bring back a World Cup this summer or this country is going to tear them down like he was Michael Jackson caught at an Elementary School.

Next week will be the first ever Anniversary Issue and we will be celebrating here with fireworks and festivities. I will be holding a vote for your favorite entry which you are all invited to participate in. Winners will receive an embossed leather jacket. (not really)

So the talk of the town is the question over the monarchy. See, Diana and the Queen Mum were the only royals people liked. Her Majesty, QE II, is aloof and very uninteresting. Then there's Prince Charles whom pissed people off ever since he was caught on tape, while still married to Diana, telling Camilla Parker that he wanted to be her tampon. And then there's Edward- the biggest prick of them all. He is pushy, arrogant, ignorant, and above all stupid. The latest thing he did was order his TV production company to secretly film Prince William (Charles' son and heir) on his first day at University though all media companies were forbidden from doing so. The debacle was so ugly that he was forced by his mom to give up the TV company and was 'hired' by his mother to 'work' at Buckingham Palace. It was in the paper of how he was hiring every possible assistant, secretary, consultant and publicist possible to match his mother's entourage. It's costing the Q something like £600,000 a year in salaries. The best part though, is that he DOES NOT DO ANYTHING.

The point of all this is that the monarchy have almost no power. As far as I know, the only things they control are the time pubs close (which since WW I has been at 11:00 for most pubs but is ending this summer where there will be no more restrictions), the Royal Mail (which is going partly private) and be the head of state for the Commonwealth (though all the countries are now independent). For this position of 'power' the public have to hand over part of their taxes to them as tribute. So with the passing of the last royal people liked, there has been quite a bit of talk of axing the whole thing. There's lots of talk how ridiculous it is and how predated the whole system is and how it's just for the tourists. It might be just British pessimism, but I have yet to talk to someone over here who admires and looks up to the monarchy. The media seems to go back and forth being enamored with it, like the Daily Mail's huge front page stating, "The Queen held her mother's hand as she softly slipped away." On page 2, we learn the only other person actually present at the moment of death was a servant, Margaret Rhodes.

So what do I think? Well, I think the royalty will stay as a matter of principle because the British love the fact that they are British. They don't want the Euro here less because of the financial risks, but that they will lose the British Pound with the Queens face on it. Plus, it's cool. Leyhsa and I have seen several of the palaces and it is overwhelming when you see hundreds of years of generations of power and wealth that helped determine the world's future. On the other hand, I also have to agree with a statement Leyhsa's dad made once; "The Queen has about as much influence over the world as my dog Rebbie barking."

After a wonderful flight on British Airways, whom upgraded us for free because we are getting hitched, my Mom and my Aunt and one of my cousins met us at the Airport drop-off to sing us 'We're goin to the Chapel and we're gonna get married' which was very cute. After a long sleep at my Mom's house, we ventured to the local mall where ocean liner SUVs lined the parking lot and no less than 45 restaurants to choose from. Leyhsa and I had our first decent Mexican restaurant in a year as our first meal and it was the best meal I think I have ever savored. I felt heat from an intense sun for the first time and it was so nice.

Being back has made me notice how generic most of Los Angeles is. The straight roads are all lined with one-story stores and a plethora of fast food restaurants and gas (petrol) stations plus an incredible repetition of parking lots, mini-marts and malls. It is such a contrast to be in an automobile-based society where everything is so spread out and dispersed where you are forced to drive to reach destinations. A friend of mine from London is coming to the wedding and Yahoo'd me to tell me how excited she was to find a place to stay in Beverly Hills that was central to everything so they could save money on a car rental. I just started laughing at the poor thing. She asked, 'but I'm used to walking to get to places'. The part she didn't understand was that she may have been a 20 minute walk from Hollywood and Santa Monica, but that is just to the border of those cities and are another 1 hour walk within Hollywood for example to get to Mann's Chinese. Not to mention you will be mugged long before you reached it.

So I will keep you in the loop of the wedding preparations as we head up to the big day. If you would like to send my bride-to-be your wishes (or warnings) for the wedding, submit a message.